The one upside to the divorce is that everybody in the house was so wrapped in it that they didn't seem to notice what else could be going on under the same roof. She had started to fall back into old habits. That was the thing about the disorder. It'll always be a part of you, no matter how long you go without doing it. She hadn't gotten that far without starting to slip again. Paige sighed as she found the mirror staring right back at her, not being afraid to tell the complete truth and then some. On the floor was her Spirit Squad uniform, wrinkled and worn. It might as well be her identity, since that's what most people knew her as, anyway. She was so on a mission to get Degrassi a Spirit Squad in the first place and now, to put it simply, she stopped caring. It was nothing but overdone smiles, short skirts and a hell of a lot of unnecessary weight on her shoulders. All she wanted lately was to get rid of all the weight that was keeping her from being happy.
Paige grabbed her backpack and pulled it into her lap. Her hands reached around for the bottle of stackers she had stashed in there. Another cheerleader on the Spirit Squad had reccommended them to her and within a few seconds, Paige found the little blue and yellow pills. It was still illegal for her to take them, but in a few months, it wouldn't even matter. She picked one of them out of the bottle and twisted it shut, putting it back in her hiding spot. She held it with two fingers, as if looking for some reason to not take it. There didn't seem to be one. Paige casually tossed it into her mouth and swallowed it dry. She did what she wanted instead of what she was told. All these years she was able to fool people into pretending she had everything, but they weren't looking close enough. You're not able to reach perfection so quickly and so easily. She had tried and failed.
Nobody had to give her more than a three second glance to realize she wasn't the same anymore. The back of her throat still had that burning feeling, her face was in desperate need of some color and her hair was tied back so carelessly, so un-Paige like. It was nothing that a little makeup and twenty minutes in a tanning bed couldn't fix. For everyone else but her. She had always been able to twist her way into fitting in almost anywhere she wanted to, but she felt like she lost that power a long time ago. Now she wasn't so sure where she belonged or what she wanted. Other people probably wouldn't know, either. If she wasn't Paige, the cheerleader, she might as well be nameless.
"I can't believe I'm doing this," she said under her breath as she flipped through the Spirit Squad binder full of cheers, moves, dates and phone numbers. Flipping fast through the first few pages, her finger ran down the list of names. Sinclaire, Heather. Before she had time to second-guess her actions, her fingers had already dialed the number and she heard the ringing in her ears. On the third ring, Heather finally picked up. She couldn't back out now. She probably had caller ID, anyway.
"Heather? It's Paige. How would you feel about taking the position of captain...?"